Starting school has been a little rough for Ballerina. Tuesday was her first official day. She was so excited all morning and couldn't wait to get to school. We got there and she was fine but when it was time for me to leave she kept begging me to stay. I stayed as long as I could but when I went to leave she started screaming and tried to run out the door. I caught her before she hit the door, pushed her back towards the teacher and walked out. I could hear her screaming but I knew my staying would only make it worse.

When I went to pick her up her teacher told me she had a bad day. She was so disruptive they sent her to the principal and they talked with her, had her draw a picture of me and played a game. I know they were trying to make her comfortable but this just seemed like rewards for bad behavior. I guess I viewed the behavior as a manipulation for getting what she wants and they viewed it as real anxiety about school. She cries and throws lots of fits at home so I can't really take most of them seriously. After she got home I talked to her about how she can't act that way at school. She said she didn't want to go back and she kept trying to get away so she could go cry in her room. That's what I usually let her do when she starts a fit. I told her that her dad was not going to be happy about the way she acted and she said, "Let's not tell him." I had to hold back a smile.

I didn't want to deal with a crying fit each day and I didn't want her teacher to have to deal with her either but she is so stubborn. DH and I are more of the tough love type parenting. He said he would talk to her teacher and tell her she needed to be more forceful with Val but I just had a feeling that would take a long time to correct her behavior or maybe even make it worse. Usually I give her the two options; one desirable and one not so desirable. For example, she didn't want to wear a pair of pants that I wanted her to wear to the airport. So I told her she could wear these pants or go to the airport naked. Her choice. She chose pants.

I felt like there was a more immediate solution to the fit throwing at school but somehow do it in a way that would avoid a struggle on my part or the teacher. So I gave her my pink bracelet that I got at the grocery store for breast cancer awareness. I wrote "I love you! Valory" on it and told her that the bracelet would help her to remember that I love her and she doesn't have to cry at school. And that I would come back for her when the day was over. When I dropped her off yesterday she went in all by herself and when I picked her up she said she didn't cry all day and it was because of the bracelet.

I am so happy she didn't cry and it helped to ease her anxiety but I still wonder if the bracelet really worked. I wonder if she really feels confident that she did good at school or if she thinks it's a magic bracelet that makes all her troubles go away.
Mya didn't care that she didn't have a first day of middle school picture because she's not a little kid anymore. She is busy running from class to class and she loves her home room teacher. She told me a conversation she had with a girl at school. This girl told her she doesn't deserve to turn twelve because she hasn't dated yet. Mya is anxiously awaiting her birthday in November. Then the girl called her a lesbian. I tried not to over react but I did tell her that its okay to like boys but she didn't need to spend her time worrying about "going out" with anyone, holding hands or kissing. She made a disgusted sound when I said kissing which means my plan is working. I try to be all kissy with DH so it will seem like something weird grownups do and if she ever thinks about kissing a boy she'll have this image of her parents in her head. I know it won't work forever but it will buy us some time.

I asked her what she said to her but she said the girl got busy talking to her other friend about their boyfriends. I tried not to be too pushy but I told her that girl was wrong to talk to her that way. And I told her if that girl really felt that way she was going to get herself into a lot of trouble. Mya for now is more concerned with reading as much as possible and being smart than she is with boys. I am 90% sure of who she has a crush on but I will never ask because I don't want to ruin the secret for her.