Starting school has been a little rough for Ballerina. Tuesday was her first official day. She was so excited all morning and couldn't wait to get to school. We got there and she was fine but when it was time for me to leave she kept begging me to stay. I stayed as long as I could but when I went to leave she started screaming and tried to run out the door. I caught her before she hit the door, pushed her back towards the teacher and walked out. I could hear her screaming but I knew my staying would only make it worse.

When I went to pick her up her teacher told me she had a bad day. She was so disruptive they sent her to the principal and they talked with her, had her draw a picture of me and played a game. I know they were trying to make her comfortable but this just seemed like rewards for bad behavior. I guess I viewed the behavior as a manipulation for getting what she wants and they viewed it as real anxiety about school. She cries and throws lots of fits at home so I can't really take most of them seriously. After she got home I talked to her about how she can't act that way at school. She said she didn't want to go back and she kept trying to get away so she could go cry in her room. That's what I usually let her do when she starts a fit. I told her that her dad was not going to be happy about the way she acted and she said, "Let's not tell him." I had to hold back a smile.

I didn't want to deal with a crying fit each day and I didn't want her teacher to have to deal with her either but she is so stubborn. DH and I are more of the tough love type parenting. He said he would talk to her teacher and tell her she needed to be more forceful with Val but I just had a feeling that would take a long time to correct her behavior or maybe even make it worse. Usually I give her the two options; one desirable and one not so desirable. For example, she didn't want to wear a pair of pants that I wanted her to wear to the airport. So I told her she could wear these pants or go to the airport naked. Her choice. She chose pants.

I felt like there was a more immediate solution to the fit throwing at school but somehow do it in a way that would avoid a struggle on my part or the teacher. So I gave her my pink bracelet that I got at the grocery store for breast cancer awareness. I wrote "I love you! Valory" on it and told her that the bracelet would help her to remember that I love her and she doesn't have to cry at school. And that I would come back for her when the day was over. When I dropped her off yesterday she went in all by herself and when I picked her up she said she didn't cry all day and it was because of the bracelet.

I am so happy she didn't cry and it helped to ease her anxiety but I still wonder if the bracelet really worked. I wonder if she really feels confident that she did good at school or if she thinks it's a magic bracelet that makes all her troubles go away.
Mya didn't care that she didn't have a first day of middle school picture because she's not a little kid anymore. She is busy running from class to class and she loves her home room teacher. She told me a conversation she had with a girl at school. This girl told her she doesn't deserve to turn twelve because she hasn't dated yet. Mya is anxiously awaiting her birthday in November. Then the girl called her a lesbian. I tried not to over react but I did tell her that its okay to like boys but she didn't need to spend her time worrying about "going out" with anyone, holding hands or kissing. She made a disgusted sound when I said kissing which means my plan is working. I try to be all kissy with DH so it will seem like something weird grownups do and if she ever thinks about kissing a boy she'll have this image of her parents in her head. I know it won't work forever but it will buy us some time.

I asked her what she said to her but she said the girl got busy talking to her other friend about their boyfriends. I tried not to be too pushy but I told her that girl was wrong to talk to her that way. And I told her if that girl really felt that way she was going to get herself into a lot of trouble. Mya for now is more concerned with reading as much as possible and being smart than she is with boys. I am 90% sure of who she has a crush on but I will never ask because I don't want to ruin the secret for her.

rain, swimming, interviews, shopping and cute dresses

I love summer. How I love summer. My favorite part has to be WARMTH! I prefer being too warm to being even slightly cold. For over a week we've had warm weather. We did have Thunder and Lightning storms the last couple days which was amazing. We so rarely get lightning, it was exciting. But Cor went to go swimming with the Scouts yesterday and they were only in the pool a few seconds before they had to get out and take cover.

Summer also means Ballerina's birthday in a few weeks. Her birthday is actually on the official first day of summer and this year falls on Father's Day. We are having her first "friend" party on the Saturday before. I thought I was being smart and ordering her party supplies early. I ordered Em's too late and they weren't here for her party. They arrived almost a week ago, three weeks before her party. She was so mad that I wouldn't let her have the party that very day. So we printed a calendar with a few other important dates on it and every day we put a star on the calendar to mark the days passing. She is only slightly pacified by this activity.

Summer means cute dresses every where and I am caught up in the trend (not to be confused with a fad). I would even say Spring/Summer dresses are a Classic. I just ordered three fun dresses online and Anth help me find one at JCrew for under $20 which is my criteria. Anth and my Sister Staci got me into wearing skirts which is fun but I am so ultra picky about how things fit around my waist. I have found that I prefer a fun knee-length dress. All are sleeveless but I am prepared with several new layering tees.

Yay for end of the school year. DH finished his last Administrative this week and even got a call from the school district for an interview for a Vice-principal position. That is next Tuesday. I don't know how anxious he is about it but I can't wait. We've been so busy all week that we haven't had time to talk about it. He is glad to have the opportunity to interview. It makes all the work seem more worthwhile. I am so proud of him and excited to see where this will take him in his future job opportunities.

Baseball is almost over for Cor. It has been a lot of work just running one kid to all his practices and games. DH and I decided were just not as into that as other parents. Maybe later when all our kids are older it won't seem so exhausting to take all of them everywhere. On Wednesday I spent over four hours driving my kids to all their stuff then we ended up at the church for my meetings and DH met me there to pick up the kids. I was so frazzled by the end.

Summer will be a nice break from the endless scheduled events. Plus a vacation to beautiful South Pacific should be rejuvenating.

Yucky Chuck E. and other people's kids

So last Saturday I took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. Cory had earned it on his reading chart that DH made for reading at home. DH wanted to put it off, especially because he wasn't feeling well, but I want the kids to know we are reliable. If we say we are going to do something then we do it. I told DH to stay home and rest so he would be ready for our date that night that meant a lot to me. I hate places like McD's and Chuck E. Cheese because they make me feel dirty. I feel like I am being coated with germs, sweat, and pee the moment I walk in there. But the kids love it so I decided I could deal with it for a few hours. Saturday is the worst day to go but the only day we would be able to go. Cor and Mya got their tokens and I told them to stay together but they didn't have to stay with me. I kept Em and Ballerina with me. Ballerina kept wondering off. She is little and she would just start following who ever got in front of her. There weren't very many things they felt brave enough to do. We got our little prizes and were there for less than two hours.

The worst part was other people's kids. Little kids, younger than Em and Ballerina, were running around with no adult supervision. We had to wait our turn for every thing we wanted to do and half the time some kid would run up cut right in front of us. Or they would try to climb on a ride while one of the girls were on it. Sometimes I said something but most of the kids just ignored me. Later on Saturday I was at the grocery and some 8-10 year old kid came up and starting taking things out of my cart. I told him that was my stuff and he tossed it in the cart and ran off. Completely oblivious.

Today Ballerina has a runny nose and I am pretty sure I know where she got it from. But if I had to compliment Chuck E. Cheese it was nice that they had so many employees there and they kept people as organized as they could and kept the floors picked up.

Last night Ballerina came into our room. She can't breathe well so she couldn't sleep. We never let the kids sleep in our bed but I was so tired and I knew if I sent her back to bed I'd just be up with her again in a few minutes. So I let her have half the bed and I snuggled up on the other half with DH. She slept pretty good for several hours. About six in the morning she got up and went back to her own bed. I guess sleeping with Mom and Dad wasn't all she dreamed it would be. Maybe she'll realize her own bed is better. Doubtful but I can hope. Ballerina has been trying her whole 3 1/2 years to be able to sleep in our bed. She only sleeps through the night 2-3 nights a week. Now that she wears panties to bed we have to get up with her and take her to the bathroom. Good thing she is the baby.

DH went to the doctor yesterday because he had some really weird symptoms and Friday. And all weekend he was completely exhausted. He is a pretty healthy guy so it really worried him. The doctor thought it was a result of the all the stress he has been under. Sunday night I had talked to him about how stressful our life has been and the effect it's having on our relationship. We decided that we need to work on our communication since the stress is not going to end any time soon. Every night we've been sitting and talking. Sometimes it's hard to get DH to talk because he'd rather just listen. But he is trying. Last night I really confused him because I actually did want him to give me a solution to my problem. I am really stressed out. I feel like I am doing all I can but it's not nearly enough.

Yesterday, as we were crossing the street near the school one of the cars did not stop until the last possible second. The crossing guard was waving the flag at him. It was a bunch of teenagers and they were laughing. Where is a police man when you need one? So as we were crossing one of the other moms crossing yelled, "This is a School crossing you Jack-A**." She said that several times while she was surrounded by school children including mine. After that her boy was telling her something that happened at school and she asked him if he kicked their butt. This boy was a kindergartener. Luckily he said no in a confused sort of way. She used a few other offensive words in the 1 1/2 minutes we had to be near her. I didn't say anything because she was bigger than me, mean looking and also had another large, butch cut woman next to her and I am sure they would have been in no mood to take my constructive criticism. I understand that a lot of people using an excessive amount of foul language but to me it shows a severe lack of intelligence.

Today I was going to volunteer in each of the kids classrooms but I decided I better not take Ballerina anywhere. Now I have time to exercise and get ready for our Young Women activity tonight. Now I just got thinking about everything again and I am almost in tears. DH asked if he could help me with anything but I don't really need help I just need less to think about but that's just not going to happen. I know I need to be more patient with myself. If I don't learn how to deal with it I am going to have a breakdown soon. But I am probably just being dramatic.

This morning Em kept coming up to me and showing me her hand but she was holding it a different way each time. I kept asking her what I was supposed to be looking at but then she would say nothing and run off. She likes to be mysterious like that. Finally she came back to show me what she could do with her hand and she said, "K." She was doing sign language. It was on the back of her cereal box. She just showed me the sign for "E" for Em. Apparently I don't need to teach my kids anything and just buy more store brand cereal.

Cor just started piano lessons and he doesn't want Mya to help him. Mya has been taking lessons for over two years. Their teacher told them it would do them both good if he would let Mya help him when he practices. This morning Cor was working on a little song and Mya came up and starting helping him and after a little encouragement from me he watched her and listened. It really made me happy to see them learning together. I loooooove that my kids are playing the piano. Their teacher is amazing because she recognized immediately that Mya and Cor have completely different learning styles but both work well for learning to play the piano.

In our little town of Keizer there is this woman who runs up and down the main road. She has an 80's look to her and she runs daily and and she has a jogging stroller for her child that never seems to get any older. A couple years back they put a picture of her on the cover of the Keizer Business Directory. She is an icon of Keizer.

I like to walk and I have a double stroller and mostly I use it for my little girls to ride in while I walk with Cory and Mya to School and back. It's about 1 1/2 mile round trip to the school and back and the idea is that I would do that twice a day. When the weather is nice I do that 3 to 4 days a week. It's cold enough right now I don't want to go outside unless I really have to. Actually I haven't wanted to exercise, I guess I am in a slump. I decided I needed some motivation. I decided that since I love my husband and I want him to have something nice to look at and not my flabby body. That sounds silly but that was motivation enough.

I also had car problems with my van. It would sometimes start and sometimes not. I could always get it to start on the 2nd or 3rd try but I was worried my luck would run out and eventually I would be stuck somewhere. The best time of day to take my van in would be when I only have the two girls but I didn't want to bother anyone with helping me get to the auto shop and back home. So I decided to walk. Yesterday when I went to drop the van off I kept track of the distance and it was a little over 3 miles. It was no problem and I made sure DH left me the Ipod touch so Em and Ballerina would have something to do otherwise they end up fighting a lot when they are in the stroller a long time. Walking home from the shop was no problem. Today I had to walk the kids to school then walk back to the shop to pick up the van. In all I think I walked 4 1/2 miles. This time was more up hill so I got a pretty good work out. I was joking with my sister that I could be the next Keizer icon.

I would like to have a nicer looking tummy and it seems like a worthwhile goal since my baby is 3 1/2 and I don't plan on having any more. Now I need to come up with some kind of plan for how I am going to get these abs of steel. I think I might do some research today. I know quite a few ab exercises from all the videos I have done so I could probably come up with something on my own. I am also trying to watch what I eat now that the holidays are over. I have 4 more pounds to lose to be at my ideal weight and I know that isn't much but it's really stubborn and won't leave easily. Being in shape and healthy is way more important than how much I weigh at this point. Having rockin' abs would definitely be a bonus.

Even when I have been in shape my legs are not the sexiest which is fine with me. My arms do look nice when they are more tone. My second motivation is our trip to Fiji this summer and I am hoping to spend a significant amount of time laying around on the beautiful beaches so I want to look as fab as possible. I don't have unrealistic expectations of looking like a movie star or super model but I know what potential my body has. And I do have the benefit of having a husband who likes me just the way I am. I know that helps my self image a lot.

Some friends at church keep encouraging me to attend their exercise group they have at the church building. I did that all last year and my little girls were such a pain, hanging on me all the time. This year they have worked out a babysitting system but I still haven't felt like going and I don't know why because I think it would be a lot more fun to exercise with others. I guess I feel like that will take up a good portion of my day and end up being more stressful than beneficial. Plus up to this point I haven't had Ballerina fully potty trained and I didn't want to deal with her and have the whole thing be a waste of my time. I have been pretty protective of my time lately. I don't know how effective it's been. I don't get a rush from being busy and going lots of places all the time and dealing with crying and the fights so I try not to go anywhere unless the benefit out weighs the trouble it takes to get there. I assume anyone with little kids knows what I am talking about.

I'd rather be naked than wear those clothes

I thought I was being a nice mom instead I created a monster. At our last Enrichment meeting we had what we call the give away table where everyone brings their unwanted items to share with others. Anything left over is taken to Deseret Industries (DI) which is similar to Goodwill (GW). I got quite of few good things this time. One was a white Tinkerbell t-shirt for Ballerina. She was so excited about it and put it on right away.

She refuses to take the shirt off day and night. So every two days I have to peel it off of her and wash it. This afternoon I had an appointment so I told her she had to take the shirt off so I could wash it and get dressed in some clean clothes so we could go. She started crying and threw herself on the floor. I got two outfits out that she could pick from. This made her more angry and then she started taking the Tinkerbell shirt off saying she was never going to wear it again. Then she said she wanted to be naked jay bird (that's what we call it when someone is naked).

"I no wear those clothes. I be naked jay bird."

Basically she is saying she would rather go through life naked if she can't wear her favorite shirt. It's funny now but at the time I was pretty irritated because she made us late for my appointment and she cries and throws fits at least a hundred fifty times a day.

But she is now pooping every three days instead of once a week. That has made life a lot less stressful. She is also obsessed with playing Webkinz and even when Em begged her to come play she was more concerned about playing on the computer. She is a fun kid but she gets very focused on what she wants and it's impossible to change her mind. She gets that from her dad.

Here we are at Cor's baptism. Everything turned out so perfect that day. I even had to give a talk in Sacrament meeting. But I was so grateful that I had a perfect hair and skin day. That really only happens once every couple years. Cor had a good experience and everything went as planned. My parent's even came over from Utah for the weekend.

Here is DH and I at the Pacific City, Cape Kiwanda for his birthday weekend. We had such a good time and you can see what a beautiful day it was.

You can also see our new kitty, Checkers, getting comfy with her favorite person. I don't really care much for pets but DH has taken to the cat. The kids love her and she gets a lot of attention which she seems to enjoy. A better picture would have been of all the scratches Em and Val had all over their bodies the first couple weeks we had the kitty. Checkers is very very patient with them but they pick her up and carry her the wrong way all the time and eventually she gets scared and scratches them. She is getting used to them now and doesn't scratch them so much and we've only had her six weeks.

Cookies for breakfast

Last night I made chocolate chip cookies to sooth a friends emotional distress. And yes, it did work. This morning Ballerina saw the cookies and wanted it one. Right now she is eating it and making yummy sounds. I don't know if I am teaching her a bad habit or not. She did have to eat a bowl of cereal before she got the cookie.

Volunteering at the School

Well my good intentions finally resulted in some action this year. I haven't been very active at being involved in my kids school only because I would have to find Ballerina and Em a place to go. Now that Grandma S is watching the girls on Tuesday mornings and Deena will watch them another day I can go to the school and be a Mommy Helper. Tuesday I went to Cor's class. The teacher had me test the kids on their sight words. The kids were each so cute and they immediately started calling me teacher. They were so impressed I was Cor's Mom. Total celeb status in no time.

Wednesday I went to Mya's class. The teacher had me take kids to the computer lab. The kids can't go without an adult so I just hang out with them and watched what they did. That was good because my kids will benefit from using this Math program called Whizz but I had to pay for it and that was the last day to pay. One of the boys in the group knows me from church so he gave me the low-down on everything. It was funny. It's interesting how capable most kids are on the computer and others had a really hard time and needed a lot of help.

Since I went to Cor's class in the morning I stayed for lunch after that. I ran over to Dairy Queen and got some gross chicken strips and fries and a Pumpkin blizzard. The blizzard was awesome but filling, I could only finish half. Because I was there Cor got to invite 2 friends to eat lunch with us in the pod. His friends were so funny. One boy was telling me all the bad words he is not allowed to say. Mostly he would just start the word but not finish it. And they were trying to guess how tall God is. I asked one boy what he was going to be for Halloween. He said his family didn't really celebrate Halloween but all the other holidays. He said that love holiday was his favorite (Valentine's Day).

Speaking of computer skills Ballerina is getting really good at clicking around on Starfall.com. I have to watch her because sometimes she right clicks and gets the computer really messed up. My kids mostly play Starfall and Webkinz but now Mya and Cor will have this math program they can play with at home too.

Other noteworthy accomplishments, I cleaned my bathroom today. My bathroom gets seriously neglected and it was nasty. It took me a couple hours. I washed the walls and baseboards, etc. I scrubbed the toilet and shower. I wiped down everything and washed the floor mat. I would have done a before and after picture but I'm too embarrassed about the before picture.

Loved to Death

I have shared with my friend Anth before that I am just not sure how much love I can handle and can you truly be loved to death. Em and Ballerina want to be on me or wrapped around me any time I sit down. Ballerina likes to be right under my right arm when I am typing on the computer. Cor wants to have an in depth conversation when I am reading. But it's Em who may cause my eminent demise. She wants to be as close and attached to me as possible. She has to be laying on me or wrapped around me like a snake. She wants to touch my face and she wants me to be touching her skin, usually a back rub. A friend who had a daughter of similar needs told her daughter that they couldn't get any closer unless she put her back in the womb. I think if I must leave this earthly vessel being loved to death would be the best way to go.

Stop eating my bikini.

Tonight for dinner I sauted some zucchini from my garden and some yummy sausage we just bought at Costco. We had it on top of Angel hair pasta. Yum.

Ballerina ate all her sausage but she left her zucchini on the side. I started eating it. In her cute 3 year old girly voice she said, "Mommy stop eating my bikini."

Adventures of Rubber Chicken, Part 4

Cor's Joke
Question: Why Did Rubber chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get run over.
Rubber Chicken is getting a piggy back ride to go to bed. Rubber chicken likes to take naps on Daddy's side of the bed.

Blueberry Heaven

Cor said it was Blueberry Heaven but Mya said it was Blueberry Mania. Deena told us about this blueberry field where we had a joyous time picking berries that were so bountiful they practically fell into our buckets. In all we picked 15 pounds of blueberries. Cor and Mya enjoyed it the most and worked very hard. Cory did eventually get distracted by some large holes in the ground that were everywhere and he and decided they need to watch for gophers.

Ballerina is such a good picker she can do it with her eyes closed.

Em worked hard for a while but eventually made friends with some other kids in the field and they were whisked away to imagination land.

We felt at one with nature and almost stayed too long. When Cory prayed over our lunch he asked that we wouldn't get diarrhea from eating so many berries.

And she cries...

Ballerina doesn't transition well from one activity to another. Here is an example.

• She cried when we left the house this morning because she didn't want to go to swim lessons (she doesn't even take swim lessons she just watches, eats snacks and runs around the pool).
• She cried when we left the pool.
• She cried to get the kid-size shopping cart at the grocery store.
• She cried when it was time to check out at the store but quickly got distracted by the candy.
• She cried because she didn't get a candy.
  
• She cried when we left the grocery store.
  
• She cried when she realized we were on the street that headed towards our house.
• When I took her out of her car seat she said she was upset because she wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese. I loath Chuck E. Cheese and it's been over a year since we went last, I don't know how she remembers that stuff.
  
• She cried because her shoe fell off.
  
• She kept crying until about 2 minutes after we got into the house.

This all happened in about an hour and a half. She barely wimpered when she fell and scraped her knees at the pool. Apparently only emotional pain affects her.

As I finish this post that was supposed to help me release the stress from listening to her cry she is hanging on my arm CRYING.

Damprag Syndrome

Ballerina has an addiction to damp towels. She likes to carry them around with her and they are a soothing comfort. She will take a dry rag if that is the only option but prefers it to be wet. She is always stealing my dish rags. In this picture you can see she has one rag she is holding while she sucks her thumb and on the floor on either side of her are ones she used previously but had dried up.
Some of the effects of damprag syndrome.

This is her favorite thing to do with the damp towel. It is handy when we need to clean up her face after eating.

Apparently this is contagious.

I guess time does fly...

When I was about 8 months pregnant with Ballerina I wrote an itinerary for my 3 other children in case of emergency and someone would have to step in and take care of them. Other than me and DH no one really knows our routine and my kids were still pretty little. Now I could totally depend on Mya and Cor to be able to inform someone of all that we do during the day. The itinerary is about 3 pages long but I laughed so hard remembering some of the challenges that were part of our day to day life. I had forgotten a lot of those things and I don't know if I just wanted to make myself look like a good Mom or if I have gotten more layed back as time has gone by.

I am only including some of it since it is so long. This was our routine 3 years ago; Mya was 6, Cor was 4, and Em was 19 months old. It really does feel like a million years ago and I feel like I was peeking into someone else's life.

Daily Routine:

• Morning-kids usually wake up between 7:00 and 8:00 AM. (Now they get up around 6:30 AM)
  
• If Cor wet the bed we have him get undressed, stand in the tub, and we spray him off. Cor will argue about everything but usually just letting him know he has to do it and repeating it several times works. (This has not changed)
  
• NO TREATS UNTIL AFTER LUNCH, they know this is the rule.

Bathroom Manners:

• Cor is working on not walking in the bathroom when someone is going to the bathroom, he gets an immediate time out. If Mya tricks him into coming in then tattles on him, she gets a time out.
• The door stays closed when not in use or Emily makes trouble in there.

Breakfast:

• Cory-must be dressed to have his breakfast or he might not get dressed all day.

After Breakfast:

• Lately Cory likes to go out and swing until his arms get tired. (He used to go out there and swing forever and talk to himself. I think it was his way of getting away from everyone.)

Snack Time:

• Around 10:30 AM. (I can't believe I had a set time for snack. Now they just seem to be eating all the time. I think I might start doing that again.)
  
• Have them drink a whole cup of water with their snack. (Apparently I was really good at making sure the kids got enough fluids)

Lunch:

• Cor sometimes has a a short attention span for sitting and eating so you have to keep him going by reminding him to eat or giving him a certain amount of bites to finish. Otherwise he is hungry ten minutes after lunch is done. If he knows he is going to to get a treat after lunch he will say he is done early just to get the treat. You have to use that as incentive to finish his lunch and all his drink. Almost every day he says he is not thirsty but if you give him the drink anyway he will usually end up drinking it.

After Lunch:

• Before Emily's nap Mya and Cor can do a cleaning job, usually just picking up toys and getting them put away. Cory needs encouragement to finish the job.
  
• Emily takes a nap around 1:00 pm, she will sleep 2 to 3 hours. (Oh how I miss that!)

Bedtime:

• Around 8:00 pm.
• If they have brought out a lot of toys to living room and kitchen area have them each pick up five things and put them away, or the same thing in their rooms.
• Say prayers together, put girls in bed, Em does not need to be rocked to sleep. Then put Cor in bed. Sometimes Cor will go to bed himself.
  

Well that's some of it. It probably doesn't mean much to anyone but me but it was fun to remember how things were with just the three of them and how things have changed with four and especially how things have changed without a baby in the house.

Memorial Weekend

Friday

All day I didn't feel like doing much of anything so I didn't go garage saling which is our new Friday activity. We just stayed home and goofed around and cleaned a little. I painted the girls toe nails.

In the evening DH went to his softball game and afterwards we went out to look at laptops. After chasing the kids around the store for about a half hour DH showed me the two laptops he had narrowed it down to. I told him he should go ahead and get the more expensive one with all the extras he wanted. He doesn't really have many hobbies except playing on the computer and technology type stuff so I figured what the heck. He is in love with his new laptop. We'll call that blessing #1. And it came in handy this weekend which I will explain later. I told him as long as he loaded my Bejeweled game on it I would love it too. He will need the laptop when he starts his Administrative program this fall. Ballerina took many trips to the bathroom at the store which really tries my patience. I HATE public restrooms. No matter how clean or the false pleasant scent they sometimes add I know they are disgusting. This one was not even falsely scented or clean. Other than that the kids had fun checking out all the DVD's and watching the big screen TV's. The most exciting part was watching themselves in on the security camera TV next to the restrooms.

Saturday

In the morning we babysat our two nephews; one is about 7 months old and the other is almost 2 years old. They did alright at first while DH was watching them and I was weeding the vegetable garden to get it ready for planting. Then I watched them while DH took a turn hoeing the weeds on the other side of the fence from the garden. That's when things fell apart. Luckily the 2 year old pooped during DH's shift. But they both cried quite a bit during my shift. Baby was just hungry and tired. I fed him then he fell asleep. I didn't want to put him down so I just held him while he slept. 2 year old nephew threw a fit for almost 30 minutes for no reason what so ever other than I think he was just mad that his mom wasn't here. He eventually fell asleep. So about the time they both fell asleep Ballerina pooped in her panties. The diarrhea kind. So Mya had to run out and get DH to change her. He was irritated that it wasn't his shift. Too bad I was holding the baby. We'll call that blessing #2.

After that Anth called and said she was ready to go. Several days earlier we informed our husbands we were definitely going shopping on Saturday to check out clearance items at Target. One of our favorite past times. It was fun. I think we each only found one item but it was fun to just wander. We did take her one month old son, Ace. He slept most of the time. I realized later that I kept pushing the cart and later the stroller out of unconscious habit. Anth may have thought I was weird for randomly wandering off with her baby. But she is too nice to say anything. And she might be used to me pretty much monopolizing the baby whenever I am around him. I love new born babies! But after taking care of 2 nephews I couldn't be more happy I am done having my own babies. We"ll call that blessing #3.

We also wandered around Borders and got a deep condition on our hair at my sister Seldie's salon. By the time we got done my muscles were starting to tighten up really bad. I got home and played badminton with DH and Cor for a few minutes. We went to Panda Express for dinner, we'll call that blessing #4 because I love when I don't have to fix dinner. After that we went to Freddy's to get our veggie plants. We got tomatoes, jalapeños, zucchini, cucumbers, and red peppers. About mid way through we realized Ballerina had pooped, diarrhea kind, in her panties. I cleaned it up this time, what a GIGANTIC MESS, poop was everywhere. Right about the time we were ready to go my back and neck muscles were so tight I almost started crying and I was losing my sense of balance. I had already tried taking my strong pain meds and those had not worked. We got home and got the kids to bed. We watched Disc 4 or 5 of 24 while I used the heat pad and my back. DH then informed me that he felt a cold coming on. I didn't think I would be able to sleep but the heat pad must have worked a little because I did get to sleep eventually. We'll call that blessing #5. I work out everyday but it must have been the hoeing that did it this time. I normally get this type of headache and back ache about once a month but this one was the worst I've had in a while. It makes me feel like an old woman.

Sunday

I woke up feeling much better even though my back was still pretty sore. So it must have been the hoeing. Our Church services were so nice. I really enjoyed them. We had 2 musical numbers that were fabulous. The lesson in Relief Society from Sister M was inspiring and funny. I love her personality. She is an older lady with grandkids but she doesn't seem bitter about life. She seems like a young person with more perspective and in an older persons body. It sounds like she was a really fun mom when her kids were young. We'll call a perfect Sabbath service blessing #6.

I tried to take a nap after church for a few minutes but Ballerina kept waking me up every few minutes. My dedicated sick DH stayed and did all his church work till almost five. He came home and rested till 8:30 then went back to another church building to help someone else. We'll call faithful DH blessing #7. Oh ya DH had to clean up another diarrhea mess on Sunday morning that's blessing #8.

Ballerina did not feel well all day Sunday. When we got home from church she said, "Mommy I am sick, I need to watch a movie." She cried a lot that day.

Somewhere during Sunday night or early Monday morning. Ballerina started crying. I went in and put her in bed the right way and put her blankets back on. She always ends up sleeping upside down. Sunday morning she ended up in our bed for the last few hours of sleep and she kept moving till she got in a comfortable spot, upside down, with her feet in my face.

Back to early Monday morning, she cried again a few minutes later so I went to check on her. She started to throw up but she didn't have anything in her stomach so it was clear. We'll call that blessing #9. She went right back to sleep after that. About 15 minutes later Em came into our room and reached out for me and luckily I smelled it before I reached for her. We'll call that blessing #10. She had vomit all over her arms and clothes. I took her to the shower and got her cleaned up. She had to sit on the floor in the bathroom wrapped in a towel while I cleaned up the messes that she tracked down the hall on the way to our room. The bulk of the mess was on her bed. We'll call blessing #11 was that she didn't puke on the wall and down the side of the bed where it's impossible to get to. My kids always seem to do this. The smell was awful and I almost didn't make it through. Blessing #12 goes to DH who right before going to bed said he felt nauseous so he got out of helping clean up. It took me a long time to fall asleep again.

Monday

Monday morning I tried to sleep in and I was in bed until almost 10:30 but probably starting around 8:00 the kids got up and found some reason to come talk to me every five minutes. Eventually DH got sick of it and got up. If if I tell the kids I am busy or sleeping and their Dad is in charge they still come ask me for everything first. When I got in the shower this morning Ballerina came in and asked me to open a sucker and I know DH was somewhere in the house. Silly kids. Ballerina and Em already seemed much better by lunch time.

After my shower I took Mya and Cor to see Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian. We were so excited because we reread the book just a couple months ago so we would be ready for the movie. It was a great movie but so very different from the book. I, of course, like the book much better. There was a lot more fighting then in the book and didn't care for the kids to see so much violence even though it was minus the blood. I am very disappointed that it is so different from the book. I did not like the way it portrayed Peter as being so proud. I hope they make the next movie from the book Voyage of the Dawn Treader. That's the next one with Prince Caspian, Edmund, Lucy, and their cousin Eustace. I am purposely trying to make my kids obsessed with Chronicles of Narnia. The way my husband has brainwashed them into loving Star Wars.

The movie theater was packed. With the dismal weather and so many good movies out right now it was the place to be. After the movie we went inside the mall to get lunch. In all we saw 4 families we knew while we were there including my Sister Seldie. We'll call going out to a movie blessing #13.

We got home and Ballerina and Em had fallen asleep on the floor but woke up soon after we arrived. Grumpy and crying. Eventually they calmed down and I took Cor and Mya outside to help me plant the vegetables. Growing our own garden is blessing #14.

For our FHE activity we did yoga and it was hilarious to watch the kids try to do all the stretches. Ballerina had spent most the day with a naked bum but we made sure she had panties on before we started yoga. Everyone is getting annoyed by her naked bum but it helps her to remember to go potty.

DH has this silly habit of getting sick during holidays. It's about the time he finally relaxes he gets sick. He gets better right about the time he goes back to work. Even if he doesn't get all better he goes to work anyway. Then he sleeps when he gets home. I told him tonight he just does it to avoid spending time with me. He said I figured him out. At least he had his laptop to keep him entertained, now he doesn't need me anymore. I am trying very hard not to lecture him about going to work when he is still sick. It's taking all my will power.

So the only ones who haven't gotten the pukey sickness is Mya and I. We'll call it blessing #15 if it just passes us by.

DH is sending me IM's from his laptop and he is sitting right next to me. He even turned on the webcam so I can see what he looks like.

Chocolate and Nudity

Yummy! I made these for a baby shower I co-hosted for a friend from church last night. I learned how to dip strawberries and make them look fancy about 5 years ago and now I always keep melting chocolate on hand so in case I have a need to dip something in chocolate. Actually these turned out kind of messy but still pretty. The middle one is dipped completely in white chocolate. I like using the melting chocolate you find in the bulk section of the grocery store rather than using chocolate chips. It sets up faster. One of my dreams is to become an expert on all things chocolate. Or just do a lot of experiments dipping things in chocolate.

We've had this pond for 3 years. No one has ever fallen in until today. It was one of those Mother's intuition things. I had just asked the kids where Ballerina was. They told me she was in the back yard. I decided I better go check on her. Just then I heard her whimper and then she said, "Mommy I need you." I found her soaked from head to toe. She had been dressed so I took her back outside and took off all her clothes. I gave her a bath and she didn't want to get dressed. Only a few minutes later she is playing around the pond in the nude. I had some better close ups but this one I think is the most appropriate for the public. I think this will be her last summer where it is socially acceptable for her to run around our back yard in the buff. She tries to get out the front door nakedy but I don't let her.

Luckily she was able to get herself out of the pond and only got a few scratches on her back. I am grateful she is alright. I didn't get a picture of her all soaked because I felt bad for her, she was kind of mad about about falling in.

There's Good News and Bad News

Good News

I had a fabulous Mother's Day. DH got me a new black dress from Down East Basics. I love it! Mya wrote me a sweet poem.

Mom
helpful, nice, lovely
Mother of Mya, Cor, Em, Ballerina.
Who loves her husband, kids and friends.
Who feels happy about having kids.
Who needs faith, me, and family.
Who gives kindness, hugs and love.
Who fears losing her kids.
Who'd like to see everyone together.
Who dreams of having a family forever.
Mother of Mya, Cor, Em and Ballerina.

That made me feel like the best Mom ever!

So Here is the Bad News

Ballerina is regressing in her potty training. It's been about three weeks and I think she's realized this is something we are doing permanently. This morning she started peeing in the kitchen then ran down the hall to me my bedroom to tell me she was peeing. She left a trail the whole way. When we first started potty training she might start peeing in her panties then she stop herself and go to the bathroom or come get me. So now she has to have a naked bum the whole time we are home. That is getting old. When we are out she is more aware and doesn't have so many accidents. Yesterday she got to the bathroom to go poop but the poop ended up on the floor and several other places.

Random Relay

Married Girl Friend: I can't talk to any guys without flirting so I just don't talk to them at all.

Me: laughing

Married Girl Friend: You'll need to make me a list of questions to ask so that I can talk to them.

Me: Wondering if many women have that problem.

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Ballerina comes home from an outing with Grandma with pooped filled panties and pants. I pull the panties off and throw them in the toilet. Ballerina is screaming because she wants to see what has happened to the poopy panties. Later I get the rubber gloves on and clean them out then put them in the wash. I know I could not handle cloth diapers. What a wimpy mother I am.

I told my sister Jenna about it and she said I should write an ode to poop.

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DH's grandma has passed away. Her funeral arrangements are the opposite schedule of every funeral I've been to. And I have been to a lot of funerals in the last few years. They are doing the viewing first (normal), then the interment (putting her in the ground), then the lunch, and finally the memorial service. She wanted it that way. She really wanted it to be a celebration of her life so maybe that's why she changed things up a bit. DH no longer has any living grandparents. I am sad for him even though he didn't have a super strong emotional bond with his grandparents. It's just brings us one step closer to being expected to be grown ups in our lives. How scary.

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I have been wearing a skirt every day this week just to feel pretty. And it worked. Even DH noticed. The first day he told me I looked cute. He knows I hate being called cute but I think he was sincere in his compliment. And it didn't make me want to puke coming from him.

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All these Mom's at play group looked at me weird when I told my girls "NO" today. I did say it firmly and with elevated volume. I wasn't yelling but I wanted them to know in no uncertain terms I meant no. Em and Ballerina had been clawing an whining at me for about 5 minutes. I had tried reasoning with them and that had no affect. I let them know their behavior was not alright with me. So finally I decided enough was enough. Em got the message but Ballerina kept on going, un-phased. Later one of the other mom's who had repeatedly asked her son to put his shoes back on said to him, "please, please, pretty please put your shoes back on." He completely ignored her the whole time. And I was just wondering who is the adult and who is the child. And this boy was definitely old enough to understand what was being asked and what he was doing by disobeying. I know I sound horribly mean, but I am a mean mom. I love my kids but I think they need to learn their limits. And maybe a little respect too. I don't expect as much response from Ballerina because she is 2 years old. But I expect a lot more from Em because she is 4 1/2. Em fights me because she wants to fight me but Ballerina fights me because she still believes the whole world revolves around her. I better stop now.

It's great to be a kid...

All of these pictures were taken by my Mya and Cor.

Here is Ballerina drinking the pond water AGAIN. We have told her not to drink the water a gazillion times, we are just waiting for her to grow a 3rd arm. In the background you can see my DH's project for the fire pit.

Mud Brownies baking in the sun.
All my tupperware ends up outside.

I think this picture of Cor speaks for itself.

Mya

This is part of the life cycle of a pretzel.

This is one of my all time favorite pictures.

All kinds of things are happening in the waterfall.

Em.

Mya.

I took this picture this morning. You might be like me and find this rubber chicken a little creepy but thanks to Anth giving it to my girls they have developed an unusual affection for it. We took him on our walk this morning and he must have been tuckered out because he has been put down for a nap.